Penny called last night (part one)

Yesterday was a hard day.

It started with an appointment with my probation officer.

It's a big hassle to get there... I take one bus halfway, walk a few blocks to another stop, wait for another bus, then finally walk for another few blocks to the building.

It was cold and gray and windy in the morning too. Not great weather to stand at a bus stop. I haven't thought about smoking in a while but shivering and waiting made me wish I had a pack of smokes to make the time go by faster.

The next time I hit a thrift store, I should get some gloves and a scarf.

I got to the corrections office. As soon as I got there, I looked at the big clock on the wall. I was a little more than an hour early.

The whole morning I imagined getting there late because a bus breaks down and my furious PO has decided to recommend I be sent to prison.

But I didn't have to worry about that any more. At least not until next month.

I signed in on the little clip board, went to the other window and paid my monthly fees, then found an empty chair in the waiting room.

My monthly fee is almost as much as my rent. I try not to think about how I could afford a car loan if it weren't for these monthly fees. More generally, I try not to think about this whole aspect of my life. It just makes me feel like shit when I do think about it. I can't change any of it. I just have to wait it out. It's been a couple of years, and it will be about another year and a half, and then I'll be free. Hopefully.

I bought a cup of coffee from the vending machine. I had stuff to read for school.

I looked at the clock again. It was the same as the clocks from my elementary school.

Sitting in that waiting room yesterday, I remembered how I used to stare at those clocks as a kid, waiting for school to be over, so I could get the hell out of there.

I used to try to freeze time with my psychic powers. Never got it to work, but I had the rest of my escape fully planned out.

And there I was again, compulsively glancing back at the same goddamn clock. I'd be sure it was broken except I could see the second hand going around.