Ash left a message on my machine today.

I realize I haven't even written in here about the fight.

It's been a while since Penny told me how she and Ash had sex, and then Penny said to me that if Ash would fuck her, then Ash would fuck me too, and Penny can't trust me with her.

So Penny said she can't be with me if I stay friends with Ash.

God, this whole situation went from wonderful to a nightmare quick.

My brain barely works.

I'm just going to type into here what Ash said on the tape.

I'll make sense of all this one day, but right now, I can barely think.

Here's what Ash said:

I know I did something wrong. But we have been friends for so long. Close friends, I thought.

Don't you want to even hear what it was like for me?

Penny got me drunk.

For a minute, I thought she was really into me. I thought she loved me.

It was a wonderful feeling too.

For a second, I thought we were going to figure something out, like we would all be together somehow. I don't know how.

But now, now I think she just wanted to ruin my friendship with you.

Hey, I know I made a mistake and did something rotten. But I thought we were close friends, and it really hurts that you're not even trying to fight to save this.

You fucking miss me, I know you do. But you're so terrified she's going to leave you again that you're going to throw me away.

She's got you under her spell, you know that, right? She's a monster. But you know better.

If you don't call me, fuck off and die.