.. vim: set syntax=rst nosmartindent spell spelllang=en_us: Lita vs the androids #################### Whipped cream for dogs video analysis, by Crackpot Jones ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ The video starts with Lita's original post. The camera phone shows Lita in her car, feeding her dog whipped cream out of a paper cup. She explains how if you go to this one coffee shop with your dog, they'll give you a treat for the dog. In the back seat of her car, she has a whole bunch of clothes and trash bags. Lita's dog jumps around the inside of her car while Lita laughs, then signs off, saying, "See you next time! 99,42,17!" Then the video switches to Crackpot Jones taking a walk. He says how there is way more to Lita than what appears on the surface. He points out how it looks like Lita's car is full of all her possessions, as if she is moving somewhere. And then he shows a particular frame in the original video, and then zooms in and then circles in orange marker around a shape in the back seat. He says that the shape is a gas mask. And there's a cardboard box. He shows the UPC bar code. Then copies and pastes it into a search engine online and shows the UPC on the box is for a 12-pack of some industrial solvents. He does the same thing with another box in the back seat. It turns out to be a box of chemicals used to regulate the pH in huge size swimming pools. Next Crackpot Jones shows another screen shot of a bunch of text and at the top it says "improvised weapons manual." Crackpot Jones said that when he searched for documents, this is the only place where all these ingredients are listed together. It's a procedure for making nerve gas. She lives on the run In truth, she goes in and out of fugue states The dogcatchers track her down Realizes no peace until their gone Sets traps Looks for outside volunteers to help, sort of like real-life folks that want to shut down the School of the Americas Premise Lita seems to be another vapid, looks-obsessed, 20-something that posts way too much online. But really, she is somehow a runaway, like 11 in Stranger Things, or Jessica Alba in Dark Angel, or Summer Glau in Firefly, or Drew Barrymore in Firestarter, blah blah blah. The killer lolita is a cliche. The story is narrated by folks that scrutinize her social media posts and then try to figure out what is really going on. The first crackpost post will describe Lita as some kind of super-spy / assassin / whatever. Next, somebody will say it is all a hoax. Third, somebody argues she is just mentally ill. Fourth, the first person discovers the third poster is actually a shill for the organization. Fifth, Lita herself narrates to her dog. Lita's posts My dog loves whipped cream! Lita posts a video of her, in her car, feeding her dog whipped cream out of a paper cup. She explains how if you go to this one coffee shop with your dog, they'll give you a treat for the dog. In the back seat of her car, she has a whole bunch of clothes and trash bags. Lita's dog jumps around the inside of her car while Lita laughs. Having fun at this festival! Lita uses her phone to record herself dancing at a festival. She posts a bunch of short clips across the whole day. Perfect soup weather She films herself sitting at what looks like a highway rest stop, with her dog. She talks about how she bought this creamy potato soup and a loaf of bread to-go after a mediocre lunch shift. She didn't make many tips. She mentions a few of the bills. "One table's bill was 23.58 and they only left 2.72!" The to-go container of soup. Videos Whipped cream for dogs video analysis, by Crackpot Jones The video starts with Lita's original post. The camera phone shows Lita in her car, feeding her dog whipped cream out of a paper cup. She explains how if you go to this one coffee shop with your dog, they'll give you a treat for the dog. In the back seat of her car, she has a whole bunch of clothes and trash bags. Lita's dog jumps around the inside of her car while Lita laughs, then signs off, saying, "See you next time! 99,42,17!" Then the video switches to Crackpot Jones taking a walk. He says how there is way more to Lita than what appears on the surface. He points out how it looks like Lita's car is full of all her possessions, as if she is moving somewhere. And then he shows a particular frame in the original video, and then zooms in and then circles in orange marker around a shape in the back seat. He asserts that the shape is a gas mask. And there's a cardboard box. He shows the UPC bar code. Then copies and pastes it into a search engine online and shows the UPC on the box is for a 12-pack of some industrial solvents. He does the same thing with another box in the back seat. It turns out to be a box of chemicals used to regulate the pH in huge size swimming pools. He thinks he is collecting supplies to make gas. Who were these men that were at the EDM festival, by Crackpot Jones =================================================================== The narrator shows a picture of the venue from a satellite. Then he marks where he thinks Lita was standing in her first video of the day of the festival. Then he shows another video, uploaded by somebody else. The guy taking the video sees these dudes in hazmat suits or whatever holding radio antenna devices over the crowd. The guy taking the video thinks these guys are going to "do something awesome!" but nothing ever happens. Then the narrator shows how a later video by Lita indicates her position moved. And then he posts more pictures of people holding more devices, also pointing them over the crowd. Later, that same night, tons of people report their cell phones stopped working for several hours. Did Lita use some kind of EMP to disable the people that were coming after her? I found where Lita used to work, by Crackpot Jones ================================================== Crackpot Jones calls a bunch of different restaurants and finds the one where Lita used to work. He goed there and talks to one of the waiters. The waiter remembers her. The waiter said she was always really friendly, like, almost desperate to make friends. Then one day, she was reading a book in a booth, looked out of the window, jumped up, ran through the kitchen, and out the back door of the restaurant. She hasn't been back since then. Lita generated the EMP, by Crackpot Jones ========================================= Crackpot Jones shows headlines about how a freak solar flare disrupted all sorts of telecommunications equipment in the region for. Several cellular companies posted apologetic messages about dropping calls, lost text, etc. Same with the utility companies who reported a series of power outs. But there's no mention of a solar flare on any astronomical website. And there's no instance in the past of solar flares causing these kinds of outages. This is a hoax, by The Silver Skeptic Secret messages in her complaints about tips, by Crackpot Jones Later he goes back to her video when she mentions her tips. He recognizes that 23.58 are digits in the Fibonacci sequence. Then he goes back and checks the other numbers. The 2.72 tip -- that's e, the natural logarithm. What are the odds of those two coincidences? Then he looks at the other numbers. Why would Lita post her location: fugue theory In this video, the crackpot describes his theory or why Lita, if she is being hunted, would ever use social media. In crackpot #1's opinion, Lita goes in and out of dissociative fugues. She forgets where she is from and who she is. She so desperately wants a normal life. Crackpot #2: Why would Lita post her location: taunt theory Crackpot #2 says Lita is luring her pursuers into traps. She aims to destroy the organization. A full-on assault won't work. So she draws their agents out and then picks them off one-by-one. Crackpot #1: Who is the organization? It is a drug treatment program ostensibly. Actually is a mind-control research lab. Trains sleeper agents. He says other people in the Lita research community mock this as the "La Femme Nikita" theory. Lita was a rich brat with a cocaine problem and her well-intentioned parents sent her there. Gabriella posts a video ======================= Gabriella says she knows Lita. She knows her because they were both in the hospital together. Gabriella says the hospital was just a high end treatment center. Nothing else. Not a government mind control lab. Not an assassin school. This seems to end the debate. Then Crackpot Jones finds other videos of Gabriella Gabriella was some kind of BDSM celebrity. She is a professional masochist. Her clients are very wealthy people. She performs at weird eyes wide shut style parties. Crackpot Jones tracks down Gabriella ==================================== He asks her how it is that she knows Lita, and he asks if she has any ideas on how to get in touch with her. At first he believes her. He realizes he's been grasping at straws trying to make sense out of all this. Then he figures out Gabby is lying. He recognizes a series of numbers she wrote on a mirror in lipstick. It's a code. Gabby says she won't explain it all but there's powerful people around this stuff and people that dig into it just end up dead.